Hell over Heaven

you took me to your 

place called heaven

i was given my wings 
and precious things

this bright new land you showed my

there i always longed to be

but later on 

suddenly you were gone

no where to be found

I was put back on the ground

no more clouds to sail through

and skys no longer blue

furiously my world had changed 

over flowing now with rage

so now i drown in your pitiful sorrow

not knowing if ill see tomorrow

 i gave you a chance

and made you choose

not even thinking i could loose

but in the end i lost

and my whole world, it did cost

so please now just let me go

deep

deep 

down below

 because any hell 

is better than you heaven.

6.14.12

The Blue Eyes of Lies

Through your lies I swayed

in your eyes they layed

the blue that blocked

and locked those secrets in

but by the time the facade was gone 

a brand new life id already drawn

ive made myself my own guide

and in my mind you dont lie inside

but with this power

i fear

i wont devour, but instead cower

this new found blessing

im not sure im ready to be processing

but in my hands it is mine

for it in my heart is cant define

the feeling i get

from this freedom i just met

i see it from my fresh eyes

no longer this earth is in disguise

so now i leave your lies

no more ties

to your tormenting eyes

instead i love what i decide

and do as i am satisfied

6.14.12

Till Death I Shall Starve

I hunger for you

untill the day is through

even then the sunset

could never seem so long

but its worth the wait

for your gracefull song
6.14.12

RIP 11.2.11

sweet, selfless tears.

silence real and undefined

i take witness in stone, as stone

of the realness in everyone that looks away.

over taken with pain

shocked by it,

it wasn't real till the seal was official

the last light let upon the skin, the life,

and still i just sit, a pair of eyes,

and a couple of thoughts.

to ponder on what should and shouldn't be happening

shouldn't is what i've taken witness

people they are here as simply comforts.

affected by their loved ones lose.

seeing only the hurt they must be feeling

not what they are.

mingling, occasional laughter.

what could possibly be that humorus.

simple. shouldn't be. isn't.

should is how im being driven

the tears stone duth not bear,

but lifeless qualities i carry,

burdens i do withstand

but this, i do not compromise

i see but black and grey

my heart fills my head

my tears, my pulse is my metronome

only thoughts that named,

had gotten his still beating

metronome broken, silenced

to soon.

so we all sit here and think

of how to comfort us.

when we found this only comparable thought to their dismay

laying in a box

to be that they must be contained

in a better place

bitter. selfish. thoughts.

11.11.11

for Christopher Turner's grandfather

may he always rest. in .peace.

bless him

♥

Let Eternity Melt

Let this acid fall right through

Fall into my soul

Through my pastly shadow

Down into the drapes of hell

Fending off al the love

Sending it to someone above

Someone's that’s deserving

Let eternity waste away
Because as you know

As you know

And have

Known

For

Life

That I've got nothing

Nothing to share

Shit to give

Eternity can waste away

All

The

Way

Into nothing

Nothing that can compare

Not anything

To

Loose

So everything can fall apart

And ill only contribute

This madness is apart of me

Ripping me in halfs

Nothing that I care

Will make it though this despair

So let this acid melt me

Till I'm nothing

Nothing

To leave

Behind

9.7.11

Cuts and Burns I'm Not ashamed

Sometimes I feel fate had a lot to say

But the pain comes when it turns away

My head continues to spin

And yet still contains a grin

Promises I can keep

But yet I still weep

At all the days

I have not had to pay

For my dismay

Please take this key,

And simply let me be.

My stomach churns

My heart, it burns

I've lost US

In all the fuss

Now its too late

There passed by my fate

Heart is what I lost

Love is all it cost

Hear this burden that I bear,

In hopes that after you will care.

I hold this curiosity with all my tears,

I hide these questions of myself away for years,

Because of all my fears

Dreams soar me up and away,

Reality turns me astray

I feel this world tearing us apart

Shooting at my very heart

I'm not sure how much more I can bear,

I cant seem to reach any air

What holding me from the blade?

Certainly not this shity life I've made.

Even if my life escalades

There would never be a parade

No memory of me

No sight or sound

You wont be seeing me around

Ill beg and plead
And one day bleed

One day your world will fall down

But long before then ill have drown

Like this I could go on forever

But seems to me its not so clever

Some may care about their soul

But here I am to say goodbye

I kick the stool

And let me fly..

W's of Woman

And WHAT they WANT

Some girls WANT good hair.

Nice. Shiny.

They may spend hours perfecting it.

Curling it. Coloring it.

For WHAT?

And hour around a guy.

WHO in fact, gives no shit WHAT-so-ever.

Some woman WANT material things.

Jewelry. To stand out and be an envy to her friends.

Nice clothes to hid themselves.

Cute cars to show off.

When in fact, no one pays attention.

Some ladies WANT the popularity.

And would do anything for it.

While really, they have no friends.

At least ones that actually like them.

WHAT I WANT

Is to know.

I WANT knowledge.

I WANT understanding.

I WANT to know.

WHO.

I.

AM.

WHO-I'm supposed to be

WHY-I'm here

WHAT- I'm meant to do

And

WHEN- I'll…Know.

Fair god mom, figure that one out.

Goodluck.

That’s. my.

WISH.

7.31.11

Obvious enough?