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Thursday, June 14, 2012

Hell over Heaven

you took me to your 
place called heaven

i was given my wings 
and precious things

this bright new land you showed my
there i always longed to be

but later on 
suddenly you were gone

no where to be found
I was put back on the ground

no more clouds to sail through
and skys no longer blue

furiously my world had changed 
over flowing now with rage

so now i drown in your pitiful sorrow
not knowing if ill see tomorrow

 i gave you a chance
and made you choose
not even thinking i could loose

but in the end i lost
and my whole world, it did cost

so please now just let me go
deep
deep 
down below

 because any hell 
is better than you heaven.

6.14.12

The Blue Eyes of Lies

Through your lies I swayed
in your eyes they layed

the blue that blocked
and locked those secrets in

but by the time the facade was gone 
a brand new life id already drawn

ive made myself my own guide
and in my mind you dont lie inside

but with this power
i fear
i wont devour, but instead cower

this new found blessing
im not sure im ready to be processing

but in my hands it is mine
for it in my heart is cant define
the feeling i get
from this freedom i just met

i see it from my fresh eyes
no longer this earth is in disguise

so now i leave your lies
no more ties
to your tormenting eyes

instead i love what i decide
and do as i am satisfied

6.14.12

Till Death I Shall Starve

I hunger for you
untill the day is through

even then the sunset
could never seem so long
but its worth the wait
for your gracefull song
6.14.12


RIP 11.2.11

sweet, selfless tears.
silence real and undefined
i take witness in stone, as stone
of the realness in everyone that looks away.
over taken with pain
shocked by it,
it wasn't real till the seal was official
the last light let upon the skin, the life,
and still i just sit, a pair of eyes,
and a couple of thoughts.
to ponder on what should and shouldn't be happening
shouldn't is what i've taken witness
people they are here as simply comforts.
affected by their loved ones lose.
seeing only the hurt they must be feeling
not what they are.
mingling, occasional laughter.
what could possibly be that humorus.
simple. shouldn't be. isn't.

should is how im being driven
the tears stone duth not bear,
but lifeless qualities i carry,
burdens i do withstand
but this, i do not compromise
i see but black and grey
my heart fills my head
my tears, my pulse is my metronome
only thoughts that named,
had gotten his still beating
metronome broken, silenced
to soon.

so we all sit here and think
of how to comfort us.
when we found this only comparable thought to their dismay
laying in a box
to be that they must be contained
in a better place
bitter. selfish. thoughts.

11.11.11
for Christopher Turner's grandfather
may he always rest. in .peace.

bless him

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Let Eternity Melt

Let this acid fall right through

Fall into my soul

Through my pastly shadow

Down into the drapes of hell



Fending off al the love

Sending it to someone above

Someone's that’s deserving



Let eternity waste away
Because as you know

As you know

And have

Known

For

Life



That I've got nothing

Nothing to share

Shit to give



Eternity can waste away

All

The

Way



Into nothing

Nothing that can compare

Not anything

To

Loose



So everything can fall apart

And ill only contribute



This madness is apart of me

Ripping me in halfs



Nothing that I care

Will make it though this despair



So let this acid melt me

Till I'm nothing

Nothing

To leave

Behind



9.7.11

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Cuts and Burns I'm Not ashamed


Sometimes I feel fate had a lot to say

But the pain comes when it turns away



My head continues to spin

And yet still contains a grin



Promises I can keep

But yet I still weep

At all the days

I have not had to pay

For my dismay



Please take this key,

And simply let me be.



My stomach churns

My heart, it burns



I've lost US

In all the fuss



Now its too late

There passed by my fate



Heart is what I lost

Love is all it cost



Hear this burden that I bear,

In hopes that after you will care.



I hold this curiosity with all my tears,

I hide these questions of myself away for years,

Because of all my fears



Dreams soar me up and away,

Reality turns me astray



I feel this world tearing us apart

Shooting at my very heart



I'm not sure how much more I can bear,

I cant seem to reach any air



What holding me from the blade?

Certainly not this shity life I've made.

Even if my life escalades

There would never be a parade



No memory of me

No sight or sound

You wont be seeing me around



Ill beg and plead
And one day bleed



One day your world will fall down

But long before then ill have drown



Like this I could go on forever

But seems to me its not so clever



Some may care about their soul

But here I am to say goodbye

I kick the stool

And let me fly..


Sunday, July 31, 2011

W's of Woman

And WHAT they WANT



Some girls WANT good hair.

Nice. Shiny.

They may spend hours perfecting it.

Curling it. Coloring it.

For WHAT?

And hour around a guy.

WHO in fact, gives no shit WHAT-so-ever.



Some woman WANT material things.

Jewelry. To stand out and be an envy to her friends.

Nice clothes to hid themselves.

Cute cars to show off.

When in fact, no one pays attention.



Some ladies WANT the popularity.

And would do anything for it.

While really, they have no friends.

At least ones that actually like them.



WHAT I WANT

Is to know.

I WANT knowledge.

I WANT understanding.

I WANT to know.



WHO.

I.

AM.



WHO-I'm supposed to be

WHY-I'm here

WHAT- I'm meant to do

And

WHEN- I'll…Know.



Fair god mom, figure that one out.

Goodluck.



That’s. my.

WISH.



7.31.11

Obvious enough?