Monday, January 31, 2011

Terrible Child

Always I yell
At the that child

The corner I believe to be her place
I wish that she would just stay

She needs to be punished
And belongs in a cell

I am not equip for this child
Her fault, it always is

So take her please
I do not wish to have this burden

She cuts herself,
Not that I care

Disturbed, she deeply is
But for blame I aim it directly toward herself

I gave her what she asked
I forced her what she needed

Whats the problem you may wonder,
Its her is all I can say

She does not talk, only hums useless murmur
She can not walk, but is so lazy she slouches

What is wrong with this unresponsive child
What a waste I can't help but think

Ill hand her away
To some unlucky couple

In hopes that I can run,
And they are stuck

For I suppose they can not see,
What is plain and simple


Fate, Don't Drown my Love?

I take our love to the sea
 every night,
Wondering where you might be

You I wish to see,
So take your sail down,
And turn around

Ill fight the tide,
You'll take the wind,
And maybe, we'll be side by side

Missing you ive kept inside
But now, im just quite terrified

Come home to me now
Im longing for you

I know we agreed this was best
But now, I feel ive passed this test
Of time, and distance

Come home to me
And we will be, just like before
Don’t let the waves transform you
I love you, like you have no clue

Don’t long for me
Don’t worry,
Im sending this love,
Day by day,
Whether destination or response are accomplished

Each bottle is a whimper of hope
Swallowed up and drowned
By all the mourning
Of possibilities that your lost upon

So ill keep sending my love to be lost
Upon the love that drown with you
Long ago
Upon this fateful sea

How dare thy
Take my love
And turn it to the sand

Someday ill see my love,
Afloat upon a cloud


Monday, January 24, 2011

My wishes

I wish to not awaken to this pain called life
Maybe one day I wont

Not that anyone would be affected
I just wont give into his dreams
For killing me would be pleasing

So here I suffer
On earth
By my own
No one to understand
No one to tell
Ill miss you sunshine

It'll be goodbye soon


My Dreams?

Tonight when I drift into my deep slumber
There's only one sight I long for

To life my life flat
And strap it to the rail road

Waiting for the chosen train
Would be the most painful
Laying helplessly in its path

I wait, and while I wait
I think of everything.
My head feels so clear now

As my sweaty palms begin to gain beat
I brace myself
My head begins to band against the
Small rocks

For I'm about to gain all peace
And yet all I see is your face.

That’s when I realize this changes nothing
Nothing can help me, but myself
But this light has come to late

Scrambling and screaming
The train simply
Bumps over my body
Everything over in an instance.


Permission To Life

If I had to ask
It wouldn't be for anything from you

But for your permission

I feel I need your acceptance
Your blessing
To go on in life
Without your dictatorship called love

Once I have you in agreement
After I have you lost

Ill do what I always wanted without consequence

Ill take a blade,
Rope maybe,
And fulfill my longing
My one and only

For, what else is there to look forward to,
What's left to experience
What's left to fear
Other than death

Don’t flatter yourself, its not over you
I refuse to do anything for you again
But this is simply
For me.

The one wish you wouln't grant me

So as my cancer spreads
And my heart wakens

Ill look for someone who cares,
to find you've cursed them all,
Every one.

With no one, and no choice
Ill kick the chair
Holding the pressure of life

And as I fall freely
Ready for the snap of relief
Only your face is what I see

Perhaps this is me giving you what
You wanted?!
Was this what you wished
What you longed for and planned

Regret fills before the pain

To Late.


All I Want

Yes, ill admit
It was stupid
Looking for  Cupid

What would I ask him for anyways
I've already found that
My world revolves on fake smiles
And I exists through pain
That my own

I've got excuses,
Like the rest
But as I look at it
Why don’t I deserve a chance

All that anyone could ever ask for
 is out of reach or reality
Sometimes both

But for one of many privileges
I simply ask for personal peace

Repel all forms of evil
Love, sin and all

Stop the horns of traffic
And construction in my ears

Resist the urge of temptation
And many forms of sin from my eyes

Disguise my words, to those of goodness
And encouragement

Fool and trick my mind into blocking
Out the world

Silence the worlds earthly creatures

Please, stop my inner restlessness
Pause my heart and breathing

Turn it all into soothing  symphonies
That I may lure into

All to deny your love with my all

Bring me peace

Even if that is to my grave


Friday, January 14, 2011

Whispers in the Night

 May I love with nothing greater than my heart and my soul

But what more to ask for than the pureness of love like honey

Or the sweet endless psalms that come silently to those that wait

For I bear the library of music untold of by ancients

And the feelings of millions on the eleventh of September

But I roar at the constant ringing of those that mourn

And feel the heart glow of those that care

But each stands a burden itself, and a cherishment overlooked

They sometimes engulf me whole in the night while other times I wish to escape

How these thoughts not my own effect my soul

Throughout my time here without choice I listen to the whispers In the night


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

My pure golden locket

Inside my heart
It's dark and suffocated
Dreary and cold
But who's to day that's the real me?

Maybe I can't change
How my heart pains
But with my locket
I'll decide what it contains

Everywhere, I'll search
Be picky,  I will
In no hurry, I wait for perfection
At least, somewhat of a connection

I find happiness in the strangest of places
But seeing all these faces
I'm not sure what to do

You slowly found your way in
I'm not sure how we began

You didn't need a key
I held the door
For you to enter
My locket

You fill it with happiness
And everlasting joy
It's so unexpected
But forever you shall be
Stained on the inside

I hope your happy
Close to my heart

Because that’s where I long for you to be
And need you to replaced the dark
With your brilliant smile

I'd like you to stay
But wont lock you to me
Just know if you want to leave
Please do

Not leaving while you want to
Only burdens me with a  chain
Wrapped around my neck

The more you pull away,
The deeper the burns go,
The worse I'm chocked

No one means to be strangled
By an unwanted love
Or the burden of
Chains attempting to escape