Friday, December 3, 2010

Stand Still Movie

Are you there?
I ask myself repeatedly
Searching with not only my senses
But with my heart
Cold as it may be
Its earning for you, its savior

I cant see destiny, through this flurry
But where are you?
I know we weren't meant to be
Due to your anger toward my edges,
Spark and painful also
But your non to talk
While your going around
Killing the innocent thoughts
Of those with dreams

I step out of my sheltered overhang
To feel the instant pains of regret
As your face comes peering through the massive sheets
Its suddenly as if I need you to come running,
Each step a missed heartbeat,
But I contain my overly excited rage of the past

I hate how you wont look up
But as you approach
I want nothing more than to run.
Run into the attic and hide like I did as a child
Run into the arms of who held me when you crushed me
To run into a future, your not included in
But at this moment, I felt embarrassed
To be having such painful thoughts of far forgotten love

So as you speak
All at once I wish to cry and die
Normal>? not at all
But this weary noise from you,
Is one I do not know first hand

For you I attempt to call,
You don't look, or even flinch

Maybe you’ve moved on?
Maybe you still love me the same?

Each, opposites, but contain the same side affects
So, how to tell?

I really think we're done, but how will I ever know
While this festers, expands, grows in my mind
Your approaching.
Shielded from the chilled stars falling
You stop inches short
Breath visible in the atmosphere
Your deeper, like you heartbeat

And look up instantly catching an inhale
And  a small back step
For, I've changed me
Every bit, every part

Through my eyes, you see a re-newed soul
In which, a destiny
A destiny your unenclosed in

Crushed, your body retaliates
Mind crashing
Heart becoming an ambush
All over as sudden as it had begun
Your energy less body crashed the pavement

Now you know what I went through when you left,
Hell and back.
Back being worse.


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