Stand Still Movie

Are you there?

I ask myself repeatedly

Searching with not only my senses

But with my heart

Cold as it may be

Its earning for you, its savior

I cant see destiny, through this flurry

But where are you?

I know we weren't meant to be

Due to your anger toward my edges,

Spark and painful also

But your non to talk

While your going around

Killing the innocent thoughts

Of those with dreams

I step out of my sheltered overhang

To feel the instant pains of regret

As your face comes peering through the massive sheets

Its suddenly as if I need you to come running,

Each step a missed heartbeat,

But I contain my overly excited rage of the past

I hate how you wont look up

But as you approach

I want nothing more than to run.

Run into the attic and hide like I did as a child

Run into the arms of who held me when you crushed me

To run into a future, your not included in

But at this moment, I felt embarrassed

To be having such painful thoughts of far forgotten love

So as you speak

All at once I wish to cry and die

Normal>? not at all

But this weary noise from you,
Is one I do not know first hand

For you I attempt to call,

You don't look, or even flinch

Maybe you’ve moved on?

Maybe you still love me the same?

Each, opposites, but contain the same side affects

So, how to tell?

I really think we're done, but how will I ever know

While this festers, expands, grows in my mind

Your approaching.
 

Shielded from the chilled stars falling

You stop inches short

Breath visible in the atmosphere

Your deeper, like you heartbeat

And look up instantly catching an inhale

And  a small back step

For, I've changed me

Every bit, every part

Through my eyes, you see a re-newed soul

In which, a destiny

A destiny your unenclosed in

Crushed, your body retaliates

Mind crashing

Heart becoming an ambush

All over as sudden as it had begun

Your energy less body crashed the pavement

Now you know what I went through when you left,

Hell and back.

Back being worse.

12-3-10