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Monday, January 24, 2011

Permission To Life

If I had to ask
It wouldn't be for anything from you

But for your permission

I feel I need your acceptance
Your blessing
To go on in life
Without your dictatorship called love

Once I have you in agreement
After I have you lost

Ill do what I always wanted without consequence

Ill take a blade,
Rope maybe,
And fulfill my longing
My one and only

For, what else is there to look forward to,
What's left to experience
What's left to fear
Other than death

Don’t flatter yourself, its not over you
I refuse to do anything for you again
But this is simply
For me.

The one wish you wouln't grant me

So as my cancer spreads
And my heart wakens

Ill look for someone who cares,
to find you've cursed them all,
Every one.

With no one, and no choice
Ill kick the chair
Holding the pressure of life

And as I fall freely
Ready for the snap of relief
Only your face is what I see

Perhaps this is me giving you what
You wanted?!
Was this what you wished
What you longed for and planned

Regret fills before the pain

To Late.

1-21-11


3 comments:

Rose said...

I like the form this poem takes of a conversation piece but at the same time I had a knot in my stomach hoping that it is really just a creation and not a reality!

The Unknowngnome said...

I agree with Rose.

The pic I take as a representation of you as a tree standing off away from the other trees, but you're not as alone as you think, you're surrounded by thousands of flowers, even better, heavenly angels are camped about you.

Felicity Elsaesser said...

I thank you both for all your beautiful opinions and comments, they mean so much, and give me encouragment!
Rose- It's not true, death is simply a wonder of mine, that i mix with harsh emitions, and that is when i turn to my pen and paper.
Unknownngnome- Trees have always been a great sybolistic treasure of mine, i love your praise about the image, it opened a whole new perspective for me, and trees are so strong individually, even one alone makes an impace, maybe ill write about them soon. (: